How Do I Feel?!

I am being asked constantly about how I feel now that I am about to become a mother! To be honest, I have no idea. 

This reply isn't a good enough one to those I said it to; because I have to have something to say! 

But what if that is what I have to say?! 

I am so overwhelmed by so many emotions, I know I said that a million times before and I will continue saying it.

Also, I am not so happy with how most people want to put words into my mouth, or give me their not so nice opinions about my pregnancy and tell me, in a way, that I have to accept them. 

So what I am bigger at this point of my pregnancy than you are/were?!

Yes my back hurts extra because of my spine problem, that doesn't give you the right to tell me I'm exaggerating, because I am not. It is my pain and I'll feel however I want about it.

I am nesting and loving it. It is truly an amazing feeling to want to get and make everything ready for my baby even if it's a month before my due date.

I am having a C- section, which I'm totally at peace with. I won't say "I wanted a vaginal delivery" and go all depressed about not having it like few women do. It is God's will and I am so happy with it- Elhmadullah.

While we were having dinner last night, I found my husband saying "I know you've felt every single day/second of your pregnancy, but I feel like it has passed by so quickly. I am going to miss it."

That made me feel so proud of myself and my husband. Not that he hasn't felt it at all, on the contrary, it is because regardless of what I've been through, we were blessed enough to feel the blessings of them nine months. 

Elhamdullah regardless of my pains I did not stop caring about myself/husband/home/family/friends. Every single emotion I've felt since the beginning up till now is a beautiful one.

I am happy and excited to be meeting my cute cupcake soon- in'shaa'Allah; those two emotions do not do justice to how I truly feel, And again you'll ask me how do I feel , I'll say "I have no idea."

But one thing I know, is that I will love my baby so much that my chest won't be able to contain my growing heart. 

PS. I am still pregnant!

Till next time,

xxx